I've had a yucky day

The day started off with nothing to do but a couple of small errands that were only going to take an hour or so, and then back home to curl up with a long cooking pasta sauce boiling on the stove and not much else. An easy day. Well, we were still out at noon with no lunch for either of us and only half of our errands complete. So a rush home to stuff our faces with the intention of heading straight back out. That didn't happen...

Two things have been really stressing me out:

#1: My diminishing milk supply.
Okay, so this has been happening for a long time, and I spent a long time in denial of the fact. I know it's been a long time, because I mentioned it at Owen's 9 month check up and he's 5 days away from being 10 months today! I got a prescription for a drug that the doctor said "might" work that I had to take 4 times a day. I decided not to fill the prescription, opting for a natural/herbal solution first. There were teabags that I drank for 2 weeks straight with no change, and now some pills that don't seem to be working either. I have a lot of guilt believing that I'm not making enough milk for Owen. I really don't want to feed him formula at this late stage, only to switch over to milk when I go back to school. On top of this, Owen has been getting more and more frustrated at mealtimes. Feeding is taking longer as he does more and more finger foods. I start with the finger foods while I get the rest of his meal ready, and then go from chunkiest to smoothest. In Italy, he was eating about 3 jars of food at each meal, so that's sort of my gauge. And, inside my head, I keep hearing the doctor telling me to keep feeding him until he's full. But now, he barely gets through the 2nd course before getting really cranky, although he still opens his mouth when the spoon comes near. I hate that mealtimes have become so stressful for him, so I end it, but then worry that he hasn't eaten enough, which makes me feel more guilty about not having enough milk for him. I'd read about nursing strikes, and pumping to maintain milk supply, but pumping hasn't been that successful for me and I'm afraid that one more stressful thing is going to send me over the edge. So, at my whits end, I posted a discussion to my prenatal class group page. Within 2 hours, I had two other women from my class post saying they are having almost the same problems as me. I was SOOOOO!!!! relieved. One of them has been experimenting with small amounts of cow's milk at mealtimes with a lot of success. She said as long as he's getting iron rich foods from other foods, it's no big deal to start after 9 months. Slowly, she's weaning him so that when she returns to work, he will have switched over to cow's milk completely during the day. I should have done this a long time ago.

Whew! I will try not to be crazy anymore on that subject.

#2: Problems with cloth
I'm committed to using cloth diapers. Really committed.

But, since we've gotten back from Italy, I've had nothing but problems. Or, should I say, Owen has. His diapers stank like ammonia, especially at night. Strong, like smelling salts. Then, his penis got inflamed. Super scary! He's gonna need that some day. The doctor gave me an ointment, which I used and it cleared it up. When I stopped using the ointment, it came back.  So I stripped the diapers and put him into disposables. After, I put him back in the cloth diapers, and the smell only came back at night. Then, his penis got inflamed again. I contacted the diaper company and they had me do a bunch of other things to the diapers to try to remove any bacteria that might be causing the problem, which I did, and again I put him back into the cloth. And the smell and inflamation has come back AGAIN!!!! I don't know what to do. I guess call the doctor again tomorrow. He's back in disposables until this is resolved. I now am toying with the idea of buying new cloth diapers, to the tune of $400. Kris is not going to be happy.

I'm committed to using cloth diapers. Really committed.

After lunch was over, I could tell that Owen needed a nap so I put him down instead of continuing the insanity. While he slept, I created the insanity you see above. After he woke up and had dinner, we went out to get a Father's Day gift, do the recycling, and get me some dinner - Kris is "working". It's their annual golf tournament, so naturally there's an evening piss-up component. Mission accomplished on all 3 fronts for us.
At bedtime, after he breastfed, I gave him a bit of water. He went down better than he has in a long while.

What will tomorrow bring?

I will try not to be crazy about these things...